Tactful and Diplomatic Response

After venting/ranting out my anger and a nice long walk. I managed to calm down and think rationally to write a response to the email that would clearly state my daughters position and her reasoning behind her decision.

Here it is:

"I have already had many conversations with [my daughter] about this upcoming Christmas.

This point in time, [my daughter] does not want anything to do with [her father and yourselves]. She does not want to communicate in anyway. The decision is [my daughter’s] alone; as I am no longer forcing my daughter to do anything that she feels strongly against. I will no longer cause anymore unnecessary stress and emotional strain to her.

The lack of contact and interaction of [all of you] in [my daughter’s] life this past six years and especially, the past two years, have had a huge impact upon [my daughter]. As such, she has now formed a solid opinion and negative feelings towards you all.

[My daughter] is very intelligent and intuitive to her emotions which in turn makes her very stern and stubborn with regards to her insight and decisions.

She had wished to work her feelings out with the assistance of her Psychologist before attempting to build a relationship with any of you. Unfortunately, she has been unable to see her Psychologist as [her father] has continually failed to place a simple phone call to provide his consent (even after numerous requests by [my daughter] and myself in the past 11 months). Now, [my daughter] does not care to even try.

Sometimes things get broken and just can not be fixed; no matter how much you wish it to be."

***please note the items in square brackets were amended to ensure my anonymity***

I thought this was the most tactful and diplomatic way to get the message across. I wrote a few drafts to ensure that I was being the mature, responsible parent. It isn't easy having to be a spokes person for your child, especially when you are dealing with a matter as sensitive as this.

It is bound to send tempers off the roof; but nothing you can do to ease the hurt from the bare, naked truth of reality.