Beginners' Adult Ballet Class

This evening I participated in my first Adult "Beginners" Ballet Class.

At first my thought was .... I will take the "beginners" class because, hell, it has been over 16 years since I have done ballet. A "beginners" class will ease me back into the routine and refresh my memory of ballet. It will be a nice way to become more active, limber, flexible and toned.

Well .... Let me tell you! It was an eye opening experience for me. First off, I was the chunky biscuit in the class - what a way to feel more over weight than I already do. We started off with some stretches; as the progressed my body screamed silently in protest! Mental note: "yup you are more out of shape than you thought you were". The toe stretches were excruciating.... my feel have definitely went to the way side and I have was amazed how easily and fast they can deteriorate without regular training.

Then, we moved onto the barre - - this wasn't to bad. I remembered all the basic feet and arm positions. I did, however, became very aware that my posture has slid down hill over the years and that I will need to focus and recondition my body while practising barre work. The leg raises were not my body's favourite as it sure felt the burn.

Once that was done we moved to the dance floor to work on and practice some step combinations, jumps and etc (the fast work of the class). I felt slow, unfit, uncoordinated as the instructor moved along in a quick pace and just plain stupid. Here I was, someone with previous dance experience fumbling to keep the up to the class and instructor; I was struggling with the jumps and just looking lost in general. I was short of breath, my knee was yelling at me with every step, my calves burned and threatened to cramp up.

At the end of the class I was sweaty, tired but exhilarated (after all I did complete the 75 minute class). But driving home I became deflated at the knowledge that my coordination is off, my memory lacks, my body not what it used to be and is laughing at me (as well as some of the other women in the class).

I will digest this all as I sleep and I will think about returning. Not because I didn't enjoy the work and exercise, but primarily from feeling fat, stupid and un-coordinated in front of strangers (who are, YES, paying close attention to what others are doing). We will see what my mood changes with this food for thought.

I'm a Bookwarm by Nature

I have done some hardcore reading this past little while and have stumbled upon a new author that I quite enjoy and have read some outstanding memoirs. I tend to read many genre's and sometimes friends comment on the dark subjects that I read.

Most of the memoirs I read are about individuals that have suffered horrific crimes and unjustice. What I enjoy about these books is that these individuals are all survivors and have learned to cope with their experiences and have made something of themselves besides the fact of what had happened to them.

Here is just a few of the books that I have read recently. I decided just to list a few today as I don't have time to list the 20-30 books that I have consumed. Here are the top of my favorites out of all of them.

The new author I decided to try out was Christopher Pike, https://www.facebook.com/pages/Christopher-Pike/34402955445?sk=wall. I have become addicted to his style of writing. I first ventured reading his

"Until the End" which was 840 some odd pages that I devoured in two days off reading off and on. It had me flipping the pages wondering what will happen next and considering who could be the culprit.

I am almost done another of his thick books "Remember Me" and find the whole concept of the story and after life that he portrays exhilarating. His genre is for young adults but I dare any "adult" to pick up one of his books and try not to put it back down.

"Broken" by Shy Keenan, http://www.shykeenan.com/, is a memoir of an amazing women that went through such a horrible nightmare for many, many years. Her story is heart rendering and inspiring. The work she now does is a pride for many others.

"No One Wants You" by Celine Roberts is a memoir of a women that was forced into prostitution at a very young age and her thoughts and how she copes to deal with the fact that she was abandoned by her mother. As she reaches adulthood and motherhood she deals and copes with feminine health issues. Her story is another that is sad but reveals the strength to overcome hardship and life obstacles.

"The Profiler: My Life Hunting Serial Killers and Psychopaths" by Bob Andelman and Pat Brown. While the title is gripping on it's own. It is a memior of Pat Brown - about how she first got interested in profiling and how she has educated her self in this specific field. She lists some of the cases that she has profiled and how she came to the conclusions that she did. I found it very interesting but frustrating in regards to how justice failed to capture the perputrator(s).

No more Anti-depressants! Moving Forward.

Here is just a quick update: I have now been on a new dose of estrogen for just over a month now. I have felt more up beat and more energized. I have not taken my anti-depressants for two and a half weeks and I feel great. I don't have any bluesy moments or any dark scary thoughts. I have managed to drop 6 lbs (which I believe is primarily water weight). Even my family has commented that I sound more up beat and happier. I am excited that the dark cloud has shifted away from me without the use of medication.

I have decided to take ballet classes. I have not done ballet for years and years. I have decided to start of slow to gain back some of my knowledge of ballet and to get my flexibility back. I think this will be great for me. I will be doing something that I always loved and have had a great passion for. I will get toned up and gain my flexibility back while becoming more active as a whole. It will be a nice change and something I know I will enjoy.

I will be looking at going back into recreational lane swimming in a few months (once my budget permits). I know that I need to become more active in order to loose the 50 lbs I gained since being on Hormone Replacement Therapy and my surgeries. It is easier to become more active when you are doing the things you love and enjoy. Dance and swimming I have always found to be relaxing as exillerating.

We are blugging along on our backyard reno's. Our Garden Shed looks great; we still need to put the roof shingles on and make up our door for it. Our deck is completed, just need to sand it down and water seal it. Our built in benches for our deck are coming along slowly as they are a bit complicated. The box bench is almost completed. We just have to put the hinged seat on the box and complet the back with the metal decorative insert on; then we can move onto completeing the seating and backing for the deck benches. It has been a slow process and a lot of work but will look fantastic when it is done! We will then have a nice backyard oasis and a great area for family BBQ's and entertaining friends. It is a bit frustrating getting this project done as we have to work on it when we have alloted time to do so. But now we are nearing the end and it will be fantastic. I promise to place up pictures of the completed work once it is all done.