Anonymity of JnNBK


Please understand my anonymity on my blog. I write of all my life's experiences and belive that I should keep my identity and the identity of the people in my life to be anonymous. I am honest with my life experiences and some may find it offensive if anyone else was to discover of their true identity. I am expelling secrets that some would feel very uncomfortable about doing and/or would not want anyone else to know the full truth of the situation. Thank-you for your understanding and respecting my wishes.

JnNBK

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Canada
I am a divorced semi-single parent of a beautiful girl. I say "semi-single parent" as I am in a committed relationship with an amazing man(whom I refer to as "Handsome"). I'm currently battling with stints of depression caused by hormone replacement therapy (HRT). I am constantly at war with myself over the choices and decisions I make as an individual, partner & mother. I love being a mother & I am very blessed to have my daughter in many, many ways. I view myself as a survivor. I know that I am capable of surviving anything that life may toss my way. Sometimes we all need to escape from the recesses of our own mind and the best way I do that is through the beauty of mother nature & laughter. There is no better cure for the blues than a good hardy laughing session.

Email

Feel free to leave comments on my blog or contact me directly via email at: jnnbkblogger@gmail.com

Monday, January 23, 2012

What's Next?

Last Wednesday morning I started suffering from intense (steal you breath and drop to your knees) abdominal pain. After the pain was constant for an hour I left for my family doctor. She examined me and decided I needed further testing at Urgent Care. So, off I trotted to Urgent Care for testing and further examination. Five hours later then discharged me with no real clue of what I was suffering from and instructions that if my symptoms were to get worse or other symptoms develop I am to go into Emergency ASAP.



I was home for maybe two hours when things went down hill fast; so off I went to Emergency. While at Emergency I was hooked up to an IV and fighting with the nursing staff not to give me pain medication (as I had to drive myself back home when they discharge me) they sent me off for a CT Scan to rule out appendicitis. 2:30 a.m. Thursday, the results were back in and what they could tell me was what I did not have .... I didn't have appendicitis, a blocked bowel, twist intestines or Kidney and/or Gall Bladder stones. They will mark in down as "unidentified abdominal pain" and send me home with percocet.



I have to say that I just love how the health care system can tell me what I do not have and has no clue on what I might be suffering from. If they do not know what is wrong then how are they sure it is okay for me to go home to sleep it off with narcotics?



By Friday mid morning, I was still suffering from the same excruciating pain (and the percocet wasn't really effective) so off I went back to the Emergency. They tried a strong muscle relaxant, in hopes that I was suffering from severe cramping, and if the meds worked with relieving my pain all the better. But, of course as my luck goes, it did nothing besides making me woozy. So the Emerg Doctor advised that as I came into Emergency all they will do is rule out any life threatening causes. As I was exposed to radiation during my CT Scan on Wednesday, she was not willing to do so, again, so soon. So, I was discharged again with more percocet and with strong advice to have my family doctor refer me to a GI Specialist in hope to uncover what may be wrong (especially since this was my third episode in 12 months).

All I can do is shake my head as I, yet again, become the next guinea pig with upcoming tests.

Monday, January 16, 2012

Yay Me! Shingles



I am not overly stressed with my upcoming surgeries (ulna nerve relocation on both of my elbows). These two procedures will be my 9th and 10th surgeries in the last 11 years and, therefore, I am very familiar with the whole process of going under the knife and that aspect doesn't overly concern me.

I do have a few apprehensions with the actual concept of these surgeries ... that they will be playing with my nerves and relocating them. Nerves are a finicky business and I am not overly thrilled that they are having to play around with mine. But at the same time, if this will alleviate my pain and other issues with my hands I am all for that.


Sometimes I have to wonder why is it that I seem to have crappy luck? If I didn't have enough on my plate currently - life has decided to throw me a good old fashion case of Shingles to add to the mix. I do find it very ironic that I seem to be inflicted with odd things to add on top of my challenging life obstacles.

Sunday, January 15, 2012

Soul Screamers Reading Challenge - My Soul To Take

My Soul To Take is the first book in the Soul Screamer series by Rachel Vincent. It is an excellent start to the series, full of suspense, intrigue, mystery and page turning excitement.


The story is about the main character, Kaylee Cavanaugh, who lives with her Uncle Brendon, Aunt Val and her snotty brat cousin, Sophie. Kaylee is also estranged from her father, Aiden, who lives in Ireland. She attends the local high school with Sophie, her best friend, Emma Marshall, and the mysterious and irresistible chic magnet, Nash Hudson. Within the next four hectic, chaotic and emotional days Kaylee will discover that she, in fact, is not your average or ordinary teenage girl and that her life is about to become very strange very fast.

It starts off with Kaylee and Emma sneaking into an over 18 dance club on Saturday night for an evening of fun. While there Kaylee catches the attention of Nash Hudson basking in the warmth of his hypnotic gaze and is thoroughly enjoying dancing with him. Everything, seemingly, is perfect until Kaylee spots a strawberry-blonde female (a stranger) dancing. Kaylee knows that something is terribly wrong with this girl. A dark sense of foreboding overtakes Kaylee because this girl is shadowed and she just knows without a doubt that the girl will die very soon ...

Struggling to contain the earsplitting scream that instinctively claws inside her throat striving to get out. Nash and Emma manage to get Kaylee out of the club then calm her down from her panic attack. Concerned, Nash asks questions and, for some unknown reason, Kaylee discloses what she could never tell before - not even to her best friend.

The next morning it is all over the local news -- the strawberry-blonde, Heidi Anderson, was found dead in the dance club's bathroom. Later on that evening Kaylee becomes aware that another teenage girl collapsed dead in a movie theatre. Is this just a coincidence? Kaylee doesn't feel like it is and senses that something is terribly wrong. While Kaylee comes to grips with the fact that her panic attacks are more than just that - that they're, in fact, morbid premonitions of death. Nash seems to understand more about what is happening to Kaylee more tthan what seems to be possible.

The following day, Kaylee, Emma and Nash are discussing the odd similarities of these two girls deaths when Kaylee, again, is struck with a premonition that another girl is about to die. As Kaylee scans the crowd her line of vision focuses on one girl in particular as she is cloaked in those eerily dark shadows. Minutes later that same girl collapses dead. 

Kaylee's suspicions are growing and too many questions come to mind. Nash has the answers to a few and believes he knows someone that may know the answers to the rest ... Tod, a brooding, sarcastic, rookie Reaper.



It is hard to tell you anything more about the story without divulging any of the fantastic twists and turns; there are plenty of surprises to uncover in this novel. Rachel Vincent's writing is fantastic due to it's quick pace and originality. She has such a fluid way of writing and manages to describe inter-actions in unique manner that you actually feel like you are in the room with the characters.

Kaylee is an amazing character - she is so caring, ordinary in concept, extremely loyal, giving, stubborn and fierce. Also, she is intelligent with a hint of insecurity that you just can not help yourself but to fall for her. I love the characters wry humour and quirkiness. I found it easy to become attached to the characters and I felt as one with their thoughts, feelings, fears and desires.

My overall rating for this book is:  4.4 out of 5

Friday, January 13, 2012

Midnight Poetry

The world is a funny place
and at times it's a total stranger.
Sometimes it passes very slowly
or way too fast against our will.

We never really seem to learn
how to use the time we have got -
For things we truly want to do.
It is here and then it is gone.

For yesterday is but a memory
of special moments already passed.
Let's forget what has been and done
and make the new moments last.

The special moments that people share
together right here, right now.
Nurture the love within our hearts
and create more time -
Some way, some how ...

Wednesday, January 11, 2012

Soul Screamers Reading Challenge - My Soul To Lose

My Soul To Lose is the prequel novella to Rachel Vincent's Soul Screamers series.  It serves as a teaser to the series and primarily is a "meet and greet" to the series heroine, Kaylee Cavanaugh.



It begins as what seems to be an average, ordinary shopping trip to the mall with Kaylee's best friend, Emma. The goal to their outing is to plot revenge on Kaylee's slime-ball ex due to the fact that he dumped her a week before the home coming dance then proceeded to immediately invite Emma as his replacement date.

You soon discover that Kaylee is afflicted by eerie and strange panic attacks. Unfortunately, to Kaylee's mortification and terror she suffers her worse attack in the middle of the Sears department store - where she sees disturbing shadows cloaking a young (what the reader assumes to be a cancer inflicted) boy. Leaving Kaylee with a certain dread that this boy will die ... soon. Kaylee struggles to reign in her painful, soul consuming, horrific screaming fit but fails as grey fog appears and creepy things slither around in the corners of her vision.

Kaylee awakes confused, scared, pinned and strapped down to a bed in the psychiatric ward of her local hospital. Her imminent desire is to get out and back home where things are normal, but in order to do that she needs to convince the doctor and the staff that she is not crazy.

Angry, she struggles to cope with her feelings of betrayal stemming from how could her custodians (her Aunt and Uncle) allow her to be and leave her in a psych ward which, in turn, leads her to loneliness and despair. Trying to play the rules and the game to award her sanity and ultimately her escape; she fumbles and lets it slip that she saw fog engulf her surroundings, shadows wrapping around the kid and the horrible feeling that the boy would die during her attack. Hallucinations are an indication of mental illness - right? Kaylee does not believe that she is crazy, but what other explanation could there be for these attacks and images?

During her "imprisonment" on the ward she catches the attention of a strange yet compelling patient named Lydia. Kaylee knows that something is "off" with this girl but needs to focus on getting herself out of there.

During a visit with her Aunt and Uncle a disturbing scene unravels as a new male patient is brought in. This revelation convinces Kaylee's Uncle that this is not the place for his niece or the way to help her with her panic attacks. New found hope that her Uncle will try to get her home Kaylee impatiently awaits her departure. Surely her Uncle can get her out all she needs to prevent is screaming again before he can succeed.

The new male patient is not going to help ... the shadows appear and the shriek is clawing its way out of her throat. Lydia rushes to her aid and tells her that she can help with the pain; that she can "take it" from Kaylee and stop the scream before it rips out from her, but if Lydia does this something else might be taken too...



The novella ends abruptly and leaving the reader with a sense of what the ...? Too many questions linger leaving the reader desiring more - itching to get the answers to many unanswered questions driving you to read the first book of the series.

My overall rating for this quick, short and engaging read is a 3.9 out of 5

Tuesday, January 10, 2012

Soul Screamers Reading Challenge




I am an avid reader of many genres of books. Over my long Christmas/New Years vacation from work I had loads of time to read, read, and read some more. I grabbed Soul Screamers Volume One by Rachel Vincent from my local drug store while awaiting for a refill of my HRT. I was in the mood to try out a new author and see if I will become addicted .... which I did! I devoured the paper back in one day and needed more. I uploaded the remainder on my Touch Kobo and preceded to devour the rest (seven in total) and I am itching for the latest - which is not to be released until June 2012.



I went on line to see what other books by Rachel Vincent I could read and stumbled across this reading challenge (http://www.fiktshun.com/fiktshun/2012/01/06/soul-screamers-reading-challenge/). I though why not? I sometimes write a synopsis/review of books I have thoroughly enjoyed on my blog before. Why not do the same for these and have a possibility of winning something in return?

I will have to re-read them again so that I can keep each book apart from the completed story that is fresh in my mind. I have problem with re-reading each one as I was enthralled with each and always love to re-read the books I enjoy over and over again.

Keep posted for my thoughts on each and wish me luck!