I listened to Alicia Keys "Karma" to help me get through my low times after I left my ex-husband due to verbal/emotional abuse at his hands.
I think that every one truly hopes that "what goes around comes around, what goes up must come down". We use this train of thought to pull ourselves out of the dark and fight to survive and learn from our lessons in life.
Many men and women assume that if they are not being physically abused by their partner, that they're not being abused at all. Verbal/emotional abuse (a.k.a Psychological Abuse) is becoming the new epidemic sweeping over the world.
Here are some true facts that I believe people should know about verbal abuse:
(1) It is a blatant disregard to the person on the receiving end of the abuse;
(2) It leaves memory magnets of continued self loathing;
(3) It undermines the potential for mutual respect and trust;
(4) Verbal abuse goes in one direction . . . it escalates over time;
(5) The content of the abuse is not about you; rather it is more about the abuser;
(6) It does not stop on its own without appropriate intervention; and
(7) The tendency toward domestic abuse can pass from one generation to the next.
If you are in a relationship in which your partner belittles you, berates you, undermines you, manipulates you, puts you down, calls you names, smothers your will, then take a hard and honest look at your relationship. Seek to understand the dynamics of emotional abuse and how you can interrupt the cycle. The sooner you do, the happier and better off you will be.
Remember that you need to respect yourself as an individual and that no one (especially yourself) every deserves that kind of treatment. Remember that the ramifications of staying in this kind of abuse relationship have long term affects.
Please be strong to stand up for yourself, a loved one or a friend who is suffering. Everyone is strong enough to overcome anything. Positive thinking leads to positive results. Sometimes in life you have to make your own karma and leave the bad situation(s) to better yourself and your loved ones.
- JnNBK
- Canada
- I am a divorced semi-single parent of a beautiful girl. I say "semi-single parent" as I am in a committed relationship with an amazing man(whom I refer to as "Handsome"). I'm currently battling with stints of depression caused by hormone replacement therapy (HRT). I am constantly at war with myself over the choices and decisions I make as an individual, partner & mother. I love being a mother & I am very blessed to have my daughter in many, many ways. I view myself as a survivor. I know that I am capable of surviving anything that life may toss my way. Sometimes we all need to escape from the recesses of our own mind and the best way I do that is through the beauty of mother nature & laughter. There is no better cure for the blues than a good hardy laughing session.
1 comment:
I know what you mean by you're a survivor. It's not easy to make it in this world as a single mother, let alone having to deal with problems from an ex-husband who just doesn't give a damn either.
I, like you, married the wrong man. I thought that he would 'save' me, and I was positive that he was my knight in shining armour. Little did I know, he had an agenda and that was to use me for my money then take off. He left me and my daughters about 40K in debt, not as much as you but painful nonetheless.
When he left, I cried and cried because I thought that I had done something wrong, but it turns out that his agenda is what made me feel that way. Until I spoke to his first ex-wife, I didn't know that's what he had done to her too. Turns out, we were both victims of an elaborate con man with a charm that puts smiles on the faces of women everywhere. I hope his new girlfriend gets ripped off. After all, I warned her to stay away from my husband because he was a married man. Karma's a bitch, they say so I'll let her do her work.
I guess what I want to say is that nobody should ever give up in life. Women have always stood by each other throughout time because we understand one another. We go through similar pains, similar heart breaks and especially as mothers, similar little feats in life.
But some of us stand out above others. Some of us are survivors and that puts an amazing feeling in the pit of my stomach, knowing that I am not alone. I am proud to be standing here today with my two kids and the strength to move on with or without a partner. I am proud to say that after so many years, with the help of my family and friends, I am able to go back to school and learn something new. Ironically, I had to turn to my 14 year old for algebra tips though.
Stay strong. Stay focused. Your little girl will love you forever because you have done the best you can and YOU DIDN'T GIVE UP when so many of us do. Keep up the good work on the website and I hope to see more posts from more survivors out there in the near future.
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