Marriage? Nope! Not for Us

I have had numerous discussions  with my Handsome man . . . is there a need for marriage?


I have been married and divorced; he was engaged and his fiance left him one month prior to their wedding day. From each other's experiences we don't believe marriage is all that it is cracked up to be. Neither one of us has a desire to be married.


In our views and opinions marriage is a legal document that states you have chosen a specific person to be your husband/wife. Just because you are married doesn't guarantee that you are committed to making the marriage and/or relationship work or that you are committed to one another. The main reasons most decide to get married are due to religion, family/society and the glamour placed around a wedding. Instead of marriage, why not be together because we love each other  and because we want and choose to be together.


Commitment for us means that you are dedicated to making a relationship work, and allowing the love for one another to flourish, grow, and strengthen day in and day out. The word "commit" means "to be bound" that you have pledged/vowed and/or promised to be bound to someone, whether it is convenient to you or not. When someone hears "committed" they think "wow, they are serious about their relationship". Commitment describes a state of mind and determination towards a relationship and individual.


Our outlook is that commitment to each other does not need to come from marriage; that it in fact, comes from being together, seeing a future with one another and loving each other unconditionally which surpasses any piece of paper. Being committed is something spiritual that no one else can feel the way we do for one another.


We strongly feel that we do not need or want to get married but we do want to be together of the rest of our lives and that is more than enough for us. We don't need to prove to anyone how much we love each other by inviting them to a wedding, to see us hold each other's hand, say "I do's", wear expensive traditional clothing, eat expensive food, watch us dance, cut cake and supply a party of a life time.


The way we each treat each other, talk to and look at one another, and how we talk about the other is the true way to show our love and commitment between us.

Last night Handsome presented me with a pre-commitment ring (which would be like an engagement ring). We plan to have commitment bands designed and have a small commitment ceremony for my daughter's benefit -- at that time he will present a pendant to her when he makes his commitment vows to her as a step-father.