A Hard Decision . . . or Was It?

Since the birth of my daughter I suffered from severe endometriosis and andenomyosis. I had crippling pain everyday for over two years, when I undergo a complete hysterectomy with the conservation of my ovaries (in laymen terms: they took out everything but my ovaries).


I spent numerous hours on the web searching for information about endometriosis and andenomyosis in hopes I would find different measures I could try to minimize the symptoms which women with these endure. I tried many diet and exercise regimes, pain medication, anti-inflammortories, heating pads and ice packs.


I felt like I was a walking, talking lab rat. JnK try this; oh that didn't work what bout this? JnK have you tried that yet? We want you to go for blood work; we need you to go for an ultra-sound, a CAT Scan, another ultra-sound and more blood work . . . etc. These diseases were consuming my life; it seemed that all I did was live and breathe in search of answers and remedies.


It was a hard time for me. I was battling pain, weight gain, swelling, discomfort and exhaustion. I lived for the time of day when my daughter was in bed asleep, then I could finally lie down in a fetal position as I counted the minutes pass by until the pain medication took the sharp edge off (but never dulling the pain completely).


In 2007, I went for three surges. the final one being my hysterectomy. When my specialist advised me that I should undergo this procedure but that it was ultimately my body and my choice -- but he strongly believed that what was best for me was to have a hysterectomy. I was 28 years old and was forced to face a major decision that would affect my life in many ways positively and negatively. That my mind and body would be put through the ringer before and after this surgery. I would have to be placed on HRT (hormone replacement therapy) for over a decade, my body would be forced into early menopause, and that I would not have any way of being pregnant with another child.


I had to look into childcare for my daughter as I would have to be in the hospital for five days; and once back home I needed to find a way to her to and from daycare during the day so that I could take the time to rest and recuperate from the surgery. This wasn't to too hard in the beginning because I had a large amount of notice for my surgery, but then after my pap results came in I was informed the found abnormal cells on my cervix. This didn't necessarily mean cancer but there was a good possibility. Those words "abnormal cells" and "possibly cancerous" totally freaked me out! I was scared shit-less. They pumped my surgery up and was scheduled for the next week; which made things harder for childcare; but I was very lucky that my family stepped up to help me out.


My decision was based on the quality of life for myself and my daughter. I had to choose being healthy and living a pain free existence over the opportunity of having any more children. There was no doubt in my mind that this was the best choice for me and that I would not have any regrets afterwards.


My family was very supportive during this long horrible process and they wanted only what was best for me, my health and my well being. My mother would ask me over and over "Jnk are you sure that you will be okay with this decision?" She would reaffirm to me that having my reproductive organs removed would not make me any less of a woman; the "my uterus does not define me as a women". My mom was great at making me think further into my choice; to make me consider all of the Pro's and Con's of the procedure and to make sure that I was 100% positive and secure with my decision.


In the end, there was not one shred of doubt in my mind. What was best for my daughter and I (especially myself) was to have my diseased uterus removed.