Upper Extremity Specialist Appointment

I saw the Upper Extremity Specialist yesterday. It was a long and very thorough appointment which left me in a lot of pain and I am still very sore today.

The Specialist advised me that I am suffering from a Ulna Nerve Entrapment/Cubital Tunnel Syndrome on both elbows. Basically, the ulna nerve is compressed and irritated from my elbows being in a 90 degree position from typing all day long. This has resulted in the numbness in my pinkie and ring fingers and has contributed to the lack of motorary function of my digits.

As for the sharp, intense, shooting pains that I suffer from in the back of my hand can also be a result from this nerve entrapment but more in like is more an infliction due to soft tissue damage in my muscles and extensor tendons due to over use by my speed typing. This may not be fixed and quite possibly be something I may have to live and cope with for the rest of my life.

The specialist highly recommends that I have an Anterior Submuscular Transposition of the Ulnar Nerve (surgery) on both of my elbows - which means two more surgeries to be added to my list. Here is the zinger of the whole situation: on average one has a 12 to 16 month window to correct a compressed nerve before permanent damage sets in. It has now been eight months since the onslaught of my symptoms and issues with my hands. As a result, I have been scheduled to have my left elbow done in February 2012. We are doing my left first as this is the side that is worse.

My stomach dropped and my heart got saddened at this information. It is not that I am afraid of surgery (lord knows I am a pro at this by now) but that concept of missing more work (especially when my absences are being monitored for another seven months) was enough to make my nauseous.

I fully understand that this has to happen and that I need to have this surgery to prevent further damage and disability but it doesn't ease my conscience with the fact that I have to inform my work of this news.

After discussions with my man, a close friend and co-worker and my mother; I am a bit more at ease. This is something that can not be helped - just like my other surgeries could not be helped either. I have not asked for these circumstances and as a result am not at fault. If I decided to delay or prevent these surgeries I would then place myself in a position to be placed on permanent long term disability in the next few years.

My hands are my livelihood and are a necessity in any one's life. It could possibly mean my job (which is very, very unlikely) vs. my quality of life ... kind of a no brainer on that decision.

The best thing is: we have now found out a huge portion of what the cause and that it is fixable. Now we can move forward and work at resolving this issue step by step.

December/Christmas in my Home

This is the time of year that many of us are extremely busy with Christmas preparations and shopping. For my household it is the busiest time of year for us. This is one of the times of year that we purge the house. We go through our closets and make three piles of clothing: (1) stuff that fits and will keep; (2) stuff that doesn’t fit or we don’t wear but are not in the best condition to discard; and (3) stuff that doesn’t fit or we don’t wear that can be donated. I also, take the time with my daughter to go through her play center and she decides what toys she no longer plays with that can go to children in need.

I take this opportunity to discuss and teach my daughter about people and families in need that go without due to many different circumstances. The whole process is a time for my family to ponder and consider the ones that are less fortunate and need a helping hand. We donate our clothes and my daughter’s toys to the Sheriff King Centre. I have explained to my daughter that the clothes that do not fit us go to moms’ and children that are without a home and that are fleeing from a bad situation and need help to get back onto their feet - sorta like what Grandma and Papa did for us when we needed help.

This time of year is about giving, love and respecting all of mankind. I teach my daughter that it is not just about Santa and presents. We do part take in the normal festivities that occur around this time of year; but we also take this month to reflect on how lucky we are to have what we do have and to be generous and share with people who are not as fortunate as ourselves.

Many things in life are privileges and not a given right – I strongly believe that my daughter needs to be constantly aware of this. With this humbling knowledge she will learn to not take things for granted, open her heart to the less fortunate and to learn to give to the individuals who are in need of a helping hand and a kind gesture.

What I have noticed over the years is that my daughter has a kind heart and is extremely generous – sometimes very over zealous with her generosity. It always humbles me and gives me great pride to watch her diligently go through her clothing and toys; to see how beautifully generous and kind she is. Especially, to see how aware she has become and have her show that she comprehends to true meaning of giving, love and respect for mankind.

Whip Out the Christmas Granddaughter

Thanks to the warped mind of my brother - he made a good (but very disturbing) point. My daughter's grandparents, on her father's side, kinda treat my daughter like a Christmas Tree. They just want to see her around the holiday's and then discretely pack her off in a box, once the holidays are over, until next year.

How am I to address this lack of interest to my daughter? It isn't her - but them. I can't possibly fathom how they do not really care enough to want to have any kind of relationship with her outside of her father and away from the Christmas Holidays; therefore, have no logical explanation to provide my daughter.

How do you comfort somebody for the ignorance and neglect of someone else? There is no real way to explain to my daughter their absenteeism. There really aren't any words to say that will comfort her?

All that my family and myself know to do is lavish her with love and re-affirm that we do love her unconditionally until the end of time. Comfort her with hugs and kisses while we wipe her tears away.

Over the years, my daughters pain has been masked. She just blocks them out; pushes them to the side and doesn't really give them a second thought. But one day those suppressed feelings of hurt and anger will re-surface and then what? I will just have to deal with it when it occurs (I guess). Hopefully, by then I have stumbled over a solution.