Journal Entry: I was 17 years old

Every once and awhile I go through my old journals, last night I was doing the same and the first entry I flipped open to was this one:

I sit up late a night, with the  softness and the silence which enriches the world. Hoping that the answers will be given to me. As I wait; no answers are given. What or whom would answer my questions? I truly do not know.

I guess the never ending child within me keeps a hold of a dream; wanting and cherishing everything around me. Longing for something and/or someone to reach out to me. To provide shelter from . . . well, I guess I do not know.

Maybe the feminine side of me is searching for the motherly love from a masculine figure. I can not help but wonder; will I ever find him? I quite possibly might die an old maid; filled with wisdom of life, but left ignorant about love. Maybe I can say that I spent my life searching and longing for love yet never successfully finding it. Maybe I might be lucky enough to say that I had a chance to grasp it but I let is slip through my fingers like small grains of sand.

 I watch other girls at my school sweep guys off their feet and I can not help but wonder will I ever be able to do or experience that too? The one thing I don't really comprehend is how some of these girls are capable of doing this, yet they do not really know what the exactly have. The walk around teasing and taunting young boy's souls and emotions for the game and the thrill of doing it.

Why is it that not everyone has a full grasp on the idea and concept of love? Personally, If ind it quite simple . . . once you find love, keep it and cherish it for not everyone is as lucky to obtain it.