Marriage? Nope! Not for Us

I have had numerous discussions  with my Handsome man . . . is there a need for marriage?


I have been married and divorced; he was engaged and his fiance left him one month prior to their wedding day. From each other's experiences we don't believe marriage is all that it is cracked up to be. Neither one of us has a desire to be married.


In our views and opinions marriage is a legal document that states you have chosen a specific person to be your husband/wife. Just because you are married doesn't guarantee that you are committed to making the marriage and/or relationship work or that you are committed to one another. The main reasons most decide to get married are due to religion, family/society and the glamour placed around a wedding. Instead of marriage, why not be together because we love each other  and because we want and choose to be together.


Commitment for us means that you are dedicated to making a relationship work, and allowing the love for one another to flourish, grow, and strengthen day in and day out. The word "commit" means "to be bound" that you have pledged/vowed and/or promised to be bound to someone, whether it is convenient to you or not. When someone hears "committed" they think "wow, they are serious about their relationship". Commitment describes a state of mind and determination towards a relationship and individual.


Our outlook is that commitment to each other does not need to come from marriage; that it in fact, comes from being together, seeing a future with one another and loving each other unconditionally which surpasses any piece of paper. Being committed is something spiritual that no one else can feel the way we do for one another.


We strongly feel that we do not need or want to get married but we do want to be together of the rest of our lives and that is more than enough for us. We don't need to prove to anyone how much we love each other by inviting them to a wedding, to see us hold each other's hand, say "I do's", wear expensive traditional clothing, eat expensive food, watch us dance, cut cake and supply a party of a life time.


The way we each treat each other, talk to and look at one another, and how we talk about the other is the true way to show our love and commitment between us.

Last night Handsome presented me with a pre-commitment ring (which would be like an engagement ring). We plan to have commitment bands designed and have a small commitment ceremony for my daughter's benefit -- at that time he will present a pendant to her when he makes his commitment vows to her as a step-father.

To Relocate or Not too?

I can't help but wonder if where I live is the best place to raise my little girl? The benefit is that all of my immediate family resides in the city but is it a good, safe place to raise my child?

I understand that every place has a bit of crime, drugs, alcohol and potentially bad influences; but some places have an extreme reduction to where I am currently living.

The question and battle is: should we relocate and if so, managing the move and obtaining a new job.

Food for thought in my mind - I will have to figure out what is best for my family and whether or not do it.

Surgery Queen is Fearful

Some of my friends and family tease me about the numerous surgeries that I have had to undergo (ten in total) - - the call me the Queen of Surgery.  Going under never really fazed me. I have the faith and trust with the medical personal that were performing the procedure; the one thing that would always make me axioms was having to get an IV.


I would nonchalantly go into the hospital packed with my backs, relaxed and ready for the deep, drugged induce sleep that is cause by the general anaesthetic did it's job. I never fully understood why my closest friends and my family would be stressed out and anxious for any of my procedures - after all I have had so many I just thought they'd be used to it like I was.


Well now I fully understand, that after having been put in their shoes. My daughter had to go for an tonsillectomy and adenoidectomy this last September. My heart knew that she was in good hands and that the medical personnel were well trained and would do an amazing job, but my heart raced and I was stressed out and extremely anxious. 


My baby was going under! She would have to lie on that narrow metal table and be strapped down. She is little and that can be scary. I did take it upon myself to ensure that my Princess was well informed of what it would be like. I went and printed of the Children's Hospital's booklet on what to expect for your day surgery. I would ready it to her every night and describe what to expect to be done once she was inside. 


My Princess was so brave and I was so proud of her. I was so hard to watch her walk off hand and hand with the nurse into the operating room. I was jumpy and had to be in constant motion while I waited the 45 minutes for my pager to buzz letting me know that it was all done and to report back to the waiting room for the surgeon to come out and talked to us.


My heart just bloomed at the news that it was over and that she was okay. Then I was unsettled while I waited for the nurses to wheel her bed back into her room for observation. In she came, blue popsicle in hand, raspy whispering to me that her throat hurt a lot. As soon as she was settled in and had her vitals check; I crawled up in bed and just coddled her, kissing her forehead, cheeks and hair telling her over and over again that I was so proud of my big brave girl!!

I felt utterly defenseless and useless when she was in surgery. I finally experienced what everyone has did whenever I went under the knife and it completely sucks.

Bye-Bye Winter!

I am starting to get tired of the cold, bleak winter weather; I have enjoyed the winter we have had but now I have had enough of it. I want the spring to come. I want to see the grass turning green, the trees budding with life. I want to spend time going to the garden centers while my daughter picks out flower seeds to plant and then be out doors helping her to plan out and plant her garden. I long to be able to have a nice long walk on a warm evening after work (which would be a welcomed change to my treadmill). I want the warmer weather to come so that we can go back out to the lake and camp to our hearts content.

I love being out at the lake. I love the quietness, the serenity; to just be in amongst mother nature enjoying the sounds, the scents and the quiet calm of having nothing pressing to do. To just sit, relax, listen to the pole-pine trees softly knock in the wind and enjoy the fact that the only pressing concern I'd have would be what to do for the day (should we take a hike, go to the lake for a swim, paint, read or quad)?

I am done being a hermit of sorts, and I am eager to spend majority of my time outdoors - picnics, hikes, parks, our adventurous drives that always lead us somewhere new and exciting. I want the sun to come out and warm up my face and my soul.